Gandalf vs. Dumbledore

In the world of fantasy books that have become successful movies, two franchises are commonly accepted as the best: The Lord of the Rings and the Harry Potter series. J.R.R. Tolkien’s multitude of books has spawned six movies, while J.K. Rowling’s books have yielded eight (with an ninth on the way). Both franchises were absolute powerhouses in the box office, but both also featured powerhouse wizards: Gandalf and Albus Dumbledore. The question on my mind is this: which wizard is the best? I’ve written about these two series before in a previous post, but the topic felt worthy of a revisit by way of a good ol competition. Since both wizards were noticeably absent from the Hot Dog Eating Competition at Coney Island on July 4^th, I’ll just have to break down their strengths into nine categories. Time to let my nerd flag fly!

Sure, they can master the elements, but can they eat more meat scraps in a bun than this guy? I THINK NOT!

Tools/Weapons Used

Gandalf: Gandalf uses two primary weapons: his staff and the legendary elven sword, Glamdring. Glamdring was used by an Elf King named Turgon before going missing, only to be found by Gandalf after his defeat of three trolls in The Hobbit. The sword was found at the same time as Bilbo/Frodo’s Sting and, like Sting, the sword warns the user when orcs are present. Gandalf’s staff is used primarily for magical purposes and for giving the Steward of Gondor a well-deserved beat down.

Dumbledore: Dumbledore’s only consistent tool is the Elder Wand; one of the three mythical Deathly Hallows. The wand was first given to one of the Three Brothers, Antioch, by Death himself and was supposed to help the user out-duel any other wizard, yet Dumbledore earned it by defeating Grindelwald in a duel.

Results: While a legendary sword is pretty cool and a staff that can be used as a walking/beating stick isn’t bad, the Elder Wand has to take this one. In The Lord of the Rings, there are many examples of epic weapons and power being used, but there are only three Deathly Hallows, and the Elder Wand plays a significant role in the eventual defeat of Voldemort. Gandalf: 0, Dumbledore: 1

Animal Assistance

Gandalf: Gandalf’s mount of choice is the Lord of all Horses, Shadowfax; a steed that is “faster than the wind.” Gandalf also has a relationship with the Great Eagles, but that is pretty dependent on whether or not the Eagles are otherwise occupied when Gandalf needs their help. Apparently the Eagles have a full planner most weeks.

Dumbledore: Fawkes is Dumbledore’s pet phoenix. A phoenix. Is his pet. In the Harry Potter universe, the phoenix can heal with its tears, carry massive loads while flying, and has the power to revive itself from its own death.

Results: Initially, I was leaning towards Gandalf for the Eagles, but he doesn’t seem to have control of them or a solid contact number. On the other hand, Dumbledore seems to have domesticated Fawkes and the two have built such a strong relationship that the phoenix sang its lament following Dumbledore’s death (most likely a power ballad), in addition to the aid that Fawkes regularly provides Dumbledore and crew. This round has got to go to Dumbledore. Gandalf: 0, Dumbledore: 2

Cause every rose has its thorn…

Leadership

Gandalf: Throughout all the books/movies, we see Gandalf attempting to lead people/hobbits/dwarves/elves to good decisions and provide them with guidance. However, Gandalf also goes MIA an awful lot, leading to some near disasters for characters, such as the capture of Bilbo and his dwarf companions by spiders and then by the elves in Mirkwood about five minutes later. He does do the best he can to give advice before he leaves and his journeys always have some sort of purpose, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he often leaves when his help could be useful.

Dumbledore: As a headmaster at Hogwarts, Dumbledore has no equal. As an advisor to Harry Potter and his companions, meh. And I mean meh at best. I will certainly not argue that he isn’t wise, and I understand that he wants HP and club to figure things out for themselves, but Dumbledore often leaves Harry intentionally in the dark, causing Harry to be in danger as often as not.

Results: I appreciate what Dumbledore is doing, but he even admits himself that he should have told Harry more and that he is led by his emotions. Gandalf, on the other hand, doesn’t intend to leave anyone in the dark, despite the fact that he is regularly missing in times of need. Really, this category is like racing sloths and turtles…I guess Gandalf wins? Welcome to the competition, Gandalf! Gandalf: 1, Dumbledore: 2

You guys got this dragon thing, right?

Supporting Cast

Gandalf: As previously mentioned, Gandalf regularly gets aid from the Great Eagles, a very powerful group in Middle Earth. In addition to that, Gandalf is friends with the rightful King of Gondor, multiple elf kings and queens, many Dwarves, and the leader of the Ents. Gandalf is really big on networking.

Dumbledore: Dumbledore’s primary support comes from a small group of wizards (The Order of the Phoenix), a bevy of professors, and a small militia of adolescents. Through Hermione’s influence, Harry Potter trains and leads a group of said teenagers under the designation of “Dumbledore’s Army.”

Results: Having an army is pretty impressive, but teenage wizards just don’t compare to the sheer size of Gandalf’s friends list. Gandalf is the guy you add on Twitter in the hopes that he will one day retweet one of your posts. Gandalf: 2, Dumbledore 2

Don’t ask him if he has Instagram.

Casual Shows of Power

Gandalf: When conjuring cheap tricks, Gandalf uses them to create fireworks, light up large rooms, and intimidate hobbits addicted to the power of the One Ring.

Dumbledore: As headmaster of Hogwarts, Dumbledore has regular opportunities to casually show off a bit. We see him display effortless power when changing decorations in the great hall, creating an age line, and detecting Harry under his invisibility cloak.

Results: As far as casual power, Gandalf’s spells are on par with teenagers in the Harry Potter world. The young wizards can all use “Lumos” to light up a room by about year two, and the Weasley twins create fireworks that take a longer time to burn out than Gandalf’s. Dumbledore gets the win here since his nonchalant shows of power aren’t used to scare little hobbits. Gandalf: 2, Dumbledore: 3

Even Ron can light up a room.

Hardcore Wizardry

Gandalf: When it comes to the big time power, Gandalf is in a league of his own. Though he loses an initial duel with Saruman, he later shatters Saruman’s staff with little effort. When defending Gondor, Gandalf rides out to save Faramir by blasting back Sauron’s Black Riders with a spell of immense power.

Dumbledore: Dumbledore is no slouch; to save Harry from Voldemort’s Inferi trap, Dumbledore conjures a firestorm and wipes out all comers. When surrounded by representatives of the Ministry of Magic who are attempting to take Dumbledore to Azkaban, Dumbledore vanishes in a flare and stuns and the high level wizards from the Ministry.

Results: If we delved into Dumbledore’s past, I am sure that we would find ample examples of his badassery. However, in the Harry Potter series, we don’t him take on forces of evil in the sheer numbers and power that Gandalf is faced with. When it comes to raw, awe-inspiring power, Gandalf definitely takes this category. Gandalf: 3, Dumbledore: 3

Death and Sacrifice

Gandalf: Gandalf the Grey dies following his defeat of a Balrog, a creature that was originally on par with Gandalf before its corruption. In staying behind to fight the Balrog, he secures escape for the rest of the fellowship. After he “dies,” Gandalf returns to Middle Earth as Gandalf the White and the new head of the wizards. After the Ring is destroyed, Gandalf eventually joins the elves in their journey on a mysterious boat west.

Dumbledore: Dumbledore devises his own death to help his plan to defeat Voldemort move forward. He is almost killed by Draco Malfoy, but Snape shows up to deliver the killing blow. Dumbledore could have easily blasted Draco away and left on his own accord, but instead chooses to give his life to ensure that Snape can make his way into Voldemort’s good graces. Dumbledore was already dying, but this was a heck of a way to go out. Dumbledore also reappears later, but (debatably) only in Harry’s mind.

Results: To determine the better death here, you only need to look at the two wizards’ last words. Dumbledore’s final words were, “Severus, please.” Gandalf’s final words? “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” Gandalf has the better death without question. However, Dumbledore planned his death and could have avoided it, making his sacrifice the greater of the two. Because I make the rules and write the blog, I am giving both of them a point. Gandalf: 4, Dumbledore: 4

A phrase regularly uttered by teachers everywhere.

Knowledge Bombs

**Feel free to just watch the videos; I have just presented transcripts of these fantastic quotes.

Gandalf:

Frodo: “I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.”
Gandalf: “So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil.”

Dumbledore:

Dumbledore: “Help will always be given at Hogwarts, Harry, to those who ask for it. I’ve always prized myself on my ability to turn a phrase. Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it. But I would in this case amend my original statement to this; help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who deserve it. Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living. And above all, all those who live without love.”
Harry Potter: “Professor, my mother’s Patronus was a doe, wasn’t it? It’s the same as Professor Snape’s. It’s curious, don’t you think?”
Dumbledore: “Actually, if I think about it, it doesn’t seem curious at all. I’ll be going now, Harry.”
Harry Potter: “Professor? Is this all real? Or is it just happening inside my head?”
Dumbledore: “Of course it’s happening inside your head, Harry. Why should that mean that it’s not real?”

Results: The number of quotable phrases these two wizards drop on readers/viewers could easily have been a post in itself. I know that I am reusing Gandalf’s quote, but it is quite simply one of the best quotes that I have ever heard. However, Dumbledore’s sheer quantity of knowledge bombs gives him the victory here, but this was a close one for sure.

Final Score

Gandalf: 4, Dumbledore: 5

After much deliberation, Dumbledore is the winner. Either of these two wizards could be considered the best, and if I wrote this on a different day, I may have come to an entirely different conclusion. Regardless of the winner, neither one of these guys would be bad to hang around with on a regular basis, if you don’t mind fighting the forces of evil, that is. If you think the outcome was wrong, that I have incorrect information, or that I missed an important category, definitely let me know in the comments section!

Don’y worry, I also applied to teach defense against the dark arts and was unsuccessful.

Three Meals Any Bachelor Can Make

I’m almost 29 years old and have only been in two long term relationships. Since I was often a bachelor, and usually poor, I spent a lot of time perfecting the craft of preparing simple meals that fill me up even if they aren’t inherently impressive. Don’t get me wrong; I can cook a lasagna with the best of them, but whenever I was just cooking for myself, it never really made sense to throw that much effort into most meals (or to dirty that many dishes). More importantly, cooking even the simplest meals kept me from learning the names of every employee at Taco Bell.

“Just the usual?” “Yes, ma’am.” “Perfect sir. We have your family pack with a side of shame right here.” “….thank you.”

Running Tips for People Who Aren’t Runners

I’m a fairly big guy. Not huge, but at 5’10 and just over 200 lbs, no one seems to be overly surprised when I tell them that I played football in high school and rugby in/after college. However, many people seem a bit surprised when I tell them that I run on a (semi) regular basis. In middle school and high school, I ran track with my primary event being the half mile, but it wasn’t until a massive growth spurt during my junior year that I really began to look out of place during that event. There’s something about a 220 lb linebacker running next to 150 lb track stars that brings to mind images of an elephant running next to a herd of gazelle. In high school, I ran track to get in shape for football season. In college, I ran to keep in shape for rugby. But now, I’ve finally figured out that I kind of just like running. Rather than it being a means to an end, it has become something that I look forward to at the end of a day. Even though I identify myself as a not-a-runner (“No, I’m not a runner.”), I still have some completely inexpert, but practical, running advice for people who also aren’t runners.

My Week Without Internet

I have carried my shame with me for the last several years. Specifically, I have carried my shame in my pocket. But now, it is finally time to confess to the world: I still do not have a smartphone. I have never had a smartphone; instead, I have a slide phone. It can text and make phone calls and, occasionally, send and receive pictures, and that is about it. The list of things that my dumbphone cannot do is long, but most of the items are covered by one word: internet. Last week I moved from Virginia to North Carolina into an apartment that was formerly sans internet access, so, lacking a smartphone with the ability to look up addresses and check out social media and such, I knew there would be a period of time in which I would have to survive without regular internet access. In order to catalog the experiences of this week, I kept a journal of what it was like to be internet-less. The text of the entries has been transcribed below.

The journal basically looks just like this. But with fewer drawings. And the pages are whiter. And it might have a metal spiral in the middle. But other than that, the exact same.

The Five Stages of Packing to Move

For most of the last eleven years, I have lived in Newport News, Virginia. I went to college at Christopher Newport University, graduated with a master’s degree in teaching, and then began work the following fall at a local high school. In that time, I have lived in eleven different places (counting the dorms), which has made me a veritable expert on the packing and moving. As I prepare to move to North Carolina and take the next big step in my life, I am again reminded of all the wonders that moving brings, like the “can I fit that in my car?” challenge, or the decisions about whether or not I like ____ enough to make it worth packing and lugging to a new place. And of course, there is my personal favorite game: “can these make a meal? I don’t want to move food. Scrambled eggs and Brussel sprouts are probably fine together.” As much fun as the whole packing things is, the tediousness of the task can only be described as a process.

Stage 1: Denial

“I’m not moving until the end of the month, and it is only the 20th! I have plenty of time.”

In the first stage of moving, there is plenty of time for everything. No need to rush when you have nearly a fortnight left to transfer all of your stuff to a new place. This is when you “plan” how you are going to pack the copious amounts of junk that you have acquired since your arrival in your current living situation. About this time, you also begin to really think about how daunting the task will really be; a fact which you promptly put out of your mind since that is an issue that future you will have to worry about. Sucks to be future you!