I’m almost 29 years old and have only been in two long term relationships. Since I was often a bachelor, and usually poor, I spent a lot of time perfecting the craft of preparing simple meals that fill me up even if they aren’t inherently impressive. Don’t get me wrong; I can cook a lasagna with the best of them, but whenever I was just cooking for myself, it never really made sense to throw that much effort into most meals (or to dirty that many dishes). More importantly, cooking even the simplest meals kept me from learning the names of every employee at Taco Bell.
“Just the usual?” “Yes, ma’am.” “Perfect sir. We have your family pack with a side of shame right here.” “….thank you.”
I know a lot of people who claim they can’t cook. However, that is a big ol load of horse sugar (it comes in cubes…it’s totally a thing). I broke three meals down in a way that almost no one could mess up; this isn’t Pinterest after all. I also only listed meals that broke down to less than $5.00 per man serving (a real serving…for a man), since that is a little less than the average fast food combo costs. If I was a planner, I would have cooked all three of these meals up and taken pictures so that you would know that they aren’t hella nasty looking, but you will just have to take my word for it. Is this the fanciest, foodiest way to cook these meals? Not at all. This is the simplest way for your basic bachelor to cook these meals (or bachelorette because, ya know, equality). Heads up: every ingredient is linked to a version that I use to make it even easier to cook. Don’t say I never did nothing for ya.
Meal #1: Shrimp Stir Fry
Description: This meal appears fancy, but is easy to cook in one big pan (less dishes = more awesome). It’s delicious, keeps you from spending $15 for a bunch of Chinese food you won’t want later, and cooks in about ten to fifteen minutes. You also only have to buy three things to make it, two of which are frozen, making this a great meal for the basic procrastinator.
Ingredients
- Bag of Shrimp (I prefer peeled and deveined)
- Bag of Stir Fry Mix Veggies
- Stir Fry Sauce
Steps
- Throw frozen shrimp in pan on medium heat. Stir shrimp occasionally. When shrimp are pink, drain excess water (aka frozen shrimp juice). Do not drink shrimp water.
- Add veggies to pan o shrimp (still medium heat).
- Add sauce after adding veggies.
- Stir every couple of minutes. Cook for about ten minutes total.
- Eat. But it just got out of the pan, so it is probably going to be hot.
Total Man Servings: 3
Total Estimated Cost: About $12
Tweaks: Feel free to add some rice to this dish or throw it in a tortilla like a Chinese Fajita if you want some carbs. Sriracha or teriyaki can be added when cooking to change up the flavor some. Remember that Sriracha is legit: the rooster don’t lie.
Meal #2: Chicken and Tortellini Alfredo
Description: Need some Italian in your life? Food. Need some Italian food in your…okay, how about this: need some PASTA in your life? This is another three ingredient meal that takes very little time to cook. The best part about this is that it is impossible to burn and allows for versatility based on whichever sauce you like the best.
Ingredients
- 20 oz Tortellini (or Ravioli)
- 1 can Alfredo Sauce (bonus points if the word “garlic” is in the title)
- 1 12 oz can White Meat Chicken (trust me, it tastes fine)
Steps
- Boil pasta. Fancy people boil the water first. I pour the pasta in a pot, pour water in the pot until the pasta is floating around with plenty of space and then put it on a burner on high.
- While the pasta is boiling, drain the can of chicken, microwave it (in a bowl, not the can…duh) for 45 seconds, and use a fork to shred it.
- Drain pasta in a colander when it is soft. If it looks soft, it probably is. Turn off the burner when you do this.
- Pour pasta back into the pot, add sauce and chicken, stir.
- But, again, hot when it comes out of the pan.
Total Man Servings: 3-4 (depends on how much of a fatty you want to be)
Total Estimated Cost: About $11
Tweaks: Other than changing up the sauce, pasta type (ravioli/tortellini), and fillings, veggies work well in this. Peppers or asparagus are a good choice, as are onions and basically whatever else you can think of. It’s pasta, so it’s pretty hard to mess this one up. If you are feeling crazy, you can switch out the chicken for canned tuna, but you better like the flavor of tuna. If you are feeling like a trip to the Bayou, add some Cajun seasoning: it’s the epitome of delicious.
Meal #3: Tacos/Burritos
Description: If you need this one described to you, I should have lost you when I mentioned Taco Bell in the first paragrah. In the wise words of Jim Gaffigan, “It’s a tortilla with cheese, meat, or vegetables.” It’s dealer’s choice whether you pick hard shell tortilla, soft shell tortilla, or Jess style: Nacho Cheesier Doritos (he was doing it long before Taco Bell caught on). Honestly, this was a staple of my bachelor cook book because the taco meat lasts for a few days and can be used with lots of stuff.
Ingredients
- Taco Seasoning (buy the can of seasoning…it’s worth it)
- Shredded Cheese
- 1 lb ground meat of your choice (I lean towards turkey, but linked beef here since it is more common)
- Tortillas of some sort
- Shredded Lettuce (Optional)
- Sour Cream (Optional)
- Salsa (Optional)
Steps
- Throw meat in a pan on medium high heat. Stir once or twice to make sure that it all gets cooked.
- When the meat is cooked, drain the fat (if there is a lot) and add the seasoning. Season as much as you want, just keep in mind that that mess is full of sodium. Add a very small amount of water if you need to, otherwise the meat will be watery and gross.
- Put cheese, meat, and whatever add-ons you want on the tortilla.
- Eat it. Once more, this is probably hot. Seriously, just slow down, slick.
Total Man Servings: 3+ (depends on how much else you mix with it)
Total Estimated Cost: $11 (Calculated with just ground beef, tortillas, and cheese).
Tweaks: When there is taco meat in your fridge, the rest of the fridge is your oyster. Unless you have actual oysters; that would be gross. Mix it with scrambled eggs or add it to an omelet. Throw it on a salad. Mix it with cheese and make a dip. Eat more burritos. This is America; you can do what you want with your delicious taco meat.
All three of these meals are designed for the bachelor in mind (aka me). They yield multiple servings, cost only about four bucks a meal, and have leftover possibilities. For the bachelor on the go, a crock pot is a worthy investment. You can basically throw any meat in there, add some veggies and seasoning, turn it on low, and go to work and come home to a meal. The crock pot also tends to yield multiple meals worth of food, dependent on how much you fill it up. My last piece of cooking advice is to keep some solid condiments and seasonings in the house for if you mess up some other culinary adventure. My go-to seasonings are Cajun and Montreal Steak, and I usually keep some Sriracha or BBQ sauce in the house somewhere. Now go forth and be well fed so that your mother stops asking if you have been eating enough.
She never does.
Side note: I am going to be shifting my posting date for the blog to Thursday mornings (hopefully). With the way my weeks have been flowing, it has been rough to get a post done on Wednesdays.
Scrumming with Shakespeare 