My Week Without Internet

I have carried my shame with me for the last several years. Specifically, I have carried my shame in my pocket. But now, it is finally time to confess to the world: I still do not have a smartphone. I have never had a smartphone; instead, I have a slide phone. It can text and make phone calls and, occasionally, send and receive pictures, and that is about it. The list of things that my dumbphone cannot do is long, but most of the items are covered by one word: internet. Last week I moved from Virginia to North Carolina into an apartment that was formerly sans internet access, so, lacking a smartphone with the ability to look up addresses and check out social media and such, I knew there would be a period of time in which I would have to survive without regular internet access. In order to catalog the experiences of this week, I kept a journal of what it was like to be internet-less. The text of the entries has been transcribed below.

The journal basically looks just like this. But with fewer drawings. And the pages are whiter. And it might have a metal spiral in the middle. But other than that, the exact same.

The Five Stages of Packing to Move

For most of the last eleven years, I have lived in Newport News, Virginia. I went to college at Christopher Newport University, graduated with a master’s degree in teaching, and then began work the following fall at a local high school. In that time, I have lived in eleven different places (counting the dorms), which has made me a veritable expert on the packing and moving. As I prepare to move to North Carolina and take the next big step in my life, I am again reminded of all the wonders that moving brings, like the “can I fit that in my car?” challenge, or the decisions about whether or not I like ____ enough to make it worth packing and lugging to a new place. And of course, there is my personal favorite game: “can these make a meal? I don’t want to move food. Scrambled eggs and Brussel sprouts are probably fine together.” As much fun as the whole packing things is, the tediousness of the task can only be described as a process.

Stage 1: Denial

“I’m not moving until the end of the month, and it is only the 20th! I have plenty of time.”

In the first stage of moving, there is plenty of time for everything. No need to rush when you have nearly a fortnight left to transfer all of your stuff to a new place. This is when you “plan” how you are going to pack the copious amounts of junk that you have acquired since your arrival in your current living situation. About this time, you also begin to really think about how daunting the task will really be; a fact which you promptly put out of your mind since that is an issue that future you will have to worry about. Sucks to be future you!