The Five Stages of Packing to Move

For most of the last eleven years, I have lived in Newport News, Virginia. I went to college at Christopher Newport University, graduated with a master’s degree in teaching, and then began work the following fall at a local high school. In that time, I have lived in eleven different places (counting the dorms), which has made me a veritable expert on the packing and moving. As I prepare to move to North Carolina and take the next big step in my life, I am again reminded of all the wonders that moving brings, like the “can I fit that in my car?” challenge, or the decisions about whether or not I like ____ enough to make it worth packing and lugging to a new place. And of course, there is my personal favorite game: “can these make a meal? I don’t want to move food. Scrambled eggs and Brussel sprouts are probably fine together.” As much fun as the whole packing things is, the tediousness of the task can only be described as a process.

Stage 1: Denial

“I’m not moving until the end of the month, and it is only the 20th! I have plenty of time.”

In the first stage of moving, there is plenty of time for everything. No need to rush when you have nearly a fortnight left to transfer all of your stuff to a new place. This is when you “plan” how you are going to pack the copious amounts of junk that you have acquired since your arrival in your current living situation. About this time, you also begin to really think about how daunting the task will really be; a fact which you promptly put out of your mind since that is an issue that future you will have to worry about. Sucks to be future you!

Stage 2: Anger

“This is ridiculous; I should have as long as I want to get out! Why isn’t anyone helping me pack? I don’t even want to move anymore!”

In the second stage of moving, you begin to become angry about the basic frustrations of moving, like getting off the couch and packing. Although you know that you are actually mad at past you for not doing anything (that jerk!), you get to lash out like Indiana Jones fighting Nazis. Or at least you think you do. And, I mean, you’re mad, so thinking you get to lash out totally justifies it, right? It really is your friends’ faults for asking you about the move. Don’t they know that it is stressing you out? What is wrong with them? YOU HATE YOUR FRIENDS! Or, as previously mentioned, you might be projecting your hatred of lazy past you onto them. But it’s probably the hating your friends thing.

Stage 3: Bargaining

“Okay, I’ll watch one more episode of Scrubs and THEN I’ll pack TWO boxes…then more Scrubs, then two MORE boxes…at that rate, I’ll be done in about two hours!”

Ah, bargaining, the frenemy of every procrastinator and college student in finals week. You start to make new deals about what you will pack and when you will pack it and begin to actually plan distractions and breaks. This is, in fact, a trap. You will not watch one episode of a show on Netflix; you will watch a season. You will not play video games for a half hour; you will play them for the rest of the day. You will not meet a friend for a quick beer; you and that friend will end up grabbing dinner and then going to see that new Kevin Hart movie (he plays a misunderstood guy who gets joked on, but is also feisty with a heart of gold). And when you come home, there are the lonely boxes, closets of clothes, and towers of dishes just waiting to be moved to your awesome new place. Past you strikes again!

Stage 4: Depression

“I give up. I’m just going to have to pay for another month. There is no way I can get this stuff moved out of here in time.”

As you near the end of the packing process, you begin to feel defeated by the piles of junk and the cleaning that is required for a move. All of past you’s actions have finally caught up with present you, and you feel like Tony Romo after messing up a last second field goal. On the bright side, there isn’t much time for this stage since you probably have three or fewer days before you have to be gone. So, to that end, you need to buck up, grab a beer and just get to it so that you can hit the final stage…

Stage 5: Acceptance

“Ya know, if my 38 coffee mugs don’t all survive the move because they weren’t delicately wrapped in individual pieces of newspaper, I am okay with that.”

The final stage of packing your mess is the best part; this is when you just start throwing things in boxes. Gone are your meticulous labeling systems and worries about the “right way” to pack. Do you have clothes with no room in a suitcase? Throw them in a garbage bag! Food you might not ever eat from your freezer? Throw it in a cooler and now those Brussel sprouts are an ice pack! Don’t know what to pack and what to trash? Just bring it all! Dealing with the stuff you might not really need or want is a problem for future you. There is, however, the one final stage of packing…

Stage 6: Unpacking

Nope.

Yeah, not a chance. Just nope. There is a reason paper plates and pizza exist.

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Quick Note: There will probably not be a post next week since my internet availability will be intermittent at best! I’ll be sure to have something grand the following week, though!