The Four Things that Young Men Can Learn from Fantasy Novels

In news that is not a shock to anyone who knows me, I spent a lot of time in trouble as a kid. I was rebellious, stubborn, and (to quote my mother) “lacking in any tact at all,” all traits that I am still waiting to grow out of. When I was grounded to my room (which was often), I had no TV, no cell phone, no video game system, and definitely no computer or internet access. However, what I did have was a shelf of books and could usually convince my dad to let me borrow some of his when I ran out of things I wanted to read.

A couple quick disclaimers before I get to this fancy list of mine. First off, I am going to be discussing a lot of things that happen in two sets of pretty commonly read fantasy series: The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter along with a few events from other novels. If you haven’t read those books before, crawl out of your cave and get on it! I mean at least check out the movies. You also may not want to read any more of this post.  There are probably spoilers here, but they are necessary. “But I want to read your blog!” you desperately say? That’s cool. Check out some of the old posts, like the one where I talk to myself or the one with all the ways to fix modern sports.

The second thing to keep in mind is that I am a man. When I pitched the idea for this week’s post to my girlfriend, she asked why I am focusing on young men. The best answer I can give you is this: I can only tell you why I believe young men should read these novels based on my own experience, and since my experience as a young female is severely lacking, I can’t speak to experiences with the ladies. If you have more experience growing up as a member of the double x chromosomed population, feel free to drop a comment on here letting me know how much of this applies to you!

Without further ado, my nerd card is being renewed below. Read on while I grab my glasses, pocket protector, and dice with too many sides.

1. When the Going Gets Tough, the Hobbits Save the Day (or Something Like That)

I believe Shakespeare was the first author to pen the lines “Crap rolleth downhill” or something of the like. Some days/weeks/years are just rough, especially for the walking hormone smoothies that are teenage boys. As a teacher/coach/retired teenager, I totally understand that. Nevertheless, you have to persevere through the difficult times or accept an inability to ever accomplish anything, a task modeled fully in fantasy novels.

It’s a fairly common element of literature that the protagonist has to hit a low spot before the climax and redemption, but who could ever have more persistence than Frodo from The Lord of the Rings? Frodo crosses miles upon miles, covered in cliffs, swamps, and volcanic ash, all to save the world at the risk of his own life and sanity. As he journeys closer and closer to Mt. Doom in Mordor, the ring gets heavier, much as our tasks appear more difficult when closest to their achievement. Yet Frodo, a simple hobbit from the Shire, is able to destroy the ring (with the help of Gollum’s pearly yellows) and save Middle Earth. Admittedly, no man (or hobbit) is an island, and even Frodo needed the help and support of Sam, bringing me to my next point…

How to Fix Six Popular Sports

As a coach and sports enthusiast, I can say for certain that the world is seeing bigger, faster, and stronger athletes every year. However, the sports we love are often not changing at the same rate as the athletes; most sports are receiving only slight tweaks each year with the focus being primarily on safety. With the development of the ADHD generation (and the up-and-coming ADH-what’s-that-over-there-D generation), it’s time to make these sports more exciting for the casual and easily distracted viewer. To that end I present you my realistic (and way more awesome) proposals for how to fix six popular sports.

1. Baseball

The Problem: I have to start with baseball since I am a big time baseball hater. Watching baseball on TV is awesome when I want to take a nap. I will allow that a baseball game is much more entertaining in person, but still slightly less entertaining than watching paint dry with a hot dog and an $8 beer.

The Realistic Fix: While work is already being done to make the games shorter, something needs to be done about the length of the season. The regular season is 162 games. How in the world can games in the first half of the year feel meaningful if there is still 100 more coming? A lot of these games are broadcast while the masses are at work because they are borderline pointless. Between the insanely excessive regular season, the playoffs, and spring training (February is not spring, by the way), baseball is played almost year round. No sport should fill Sportscenter with highlights more than eight months. I won’t be greedy here; cut the season down to about half of the current length and games mean more, players rest longer during the offseason, and a larger percentage of the games will be seen live by the target audience.

The Way More Awesome Fix: Although Futurama took many of the best ideas with blernsball, major improvements could still be made to make baseball crazy awesome. Imagine baseball taking place with a ball that is more rubbery like a lacrosse ball and the field encased in a dome; there would be no more out of the park homeruns since the ball would be trapped in the field of play and the outfielders could catch the ball off the sides of the dome. Additionally, I say give all the basemen and the catcher an American Gladiators style blocking pad to knock the baserunner away from the base. No one makes fun of a player for packing on a little weight in the offseason when he trucks them on the way to first.

No one gets to first base safely. No one.

Why Your Kid Should Totally Play Rugby

With rugby a year away from making a return to the Olympics, it is time for United States to embrace the sport as another opportunity to dominate (or at least partake in) international competition. “But Benn,” you say, “What does that have to do with me?” Well, person-who-doesn’t-read-the-title-of-blogs, you can help by getting your kid involved with a local club. I have been involved with rugby as a player and a coach for the last decade, starting within a week of my arrival at Christopher Newport University. In that time, rugby has had a major influence on my life, from helping me find a group of solid friends in college to helping me help kids fit in at the high school I teach.

It’s Football without Pads! 

Except that it’s not. Sure, there is an odd shaped ball and there is tackling, but that is about where the similarities end. Parents regularly ask me about this and I tell them all the same thing: football is a game of position and rugby is a game of possession. In rugby, the best tackle is not necessarily one in which you lay out the other player or prevent his forward progress, but rather a tackle that allows you to get back into the game quickly. If that means that a 300 lb prop is running with the ball at a 175 lb wing, no one faults the wing for performing a slip tackle; essentially tripping up the opposing player and allowing him to gain the extra yard in exchange for ensuring a tackle. The wing certainly appreciates the opportunity to get up quickly enough to steal the ball and make a scamper up the sideline.

Additionally, to coach tackle rugby (the younger ages are typically touch rather than tackle), a coach must be level 200 certified. A level 200 certification requires a concussion course, a course on the basic rules of rugby, and a class in which coaches are taught the basics of safe rugby tackling and coaching. Safe tackling is one of the first things that I teach players and I do not allow players to participate in any full contact drills until I or another level 200 certified coach have given the player direct instruction and have seen the player tackle safely. The way in which rugby players are taught to tackle caught the attention of one of the more arguably forward thinkers in the NFL, Pete Carroll, several years ago.

Surely the lack of pads would cause more unsafe play and an increased number of injuries though, right? Well, according to the National Safety Council, not so much. Even if you allow for the difference in the sheer number of participants in both sports, rugby has a much lower rate of injury in the United States than football. The presence of a helmet and pads can lend a feeling of invulnerability that just is not present without pads. The lack of a helmet also takes away a potential weapon as Hines Ward, commonly viewed as one of the toughest receivers in the history of the NFL, states in an interview.

There are strict rules against unsafe tackling in rugby. Penalties include the oft reprimanded high tackle, tackling without an attempt to wrap, and dump tackles and can result in anything from a warning to a red card. According to the International Rugby Board, high tackle can be called if the player attempts to tackle an opponent “above the line of the shoulders even if the tackle starts below the line of the shoulders.” A tackler must also wrap up the other player, rather than delivering a spear or the flying shoulder/helmet combo often seen in football. A dump tackle can be called any time in which a player’s opponent is lifted off of the ground and opponent’s feet are failed to be put back on the ground before the rest of his/her body. All of these rules ensure that safety is of paramount importance, especially at the youth level.