The 8 Things You WILL Experience in Your First Year Teaching

As we near the start of a new school year, I thought it would be appropriate to write about some things that happen in your first year of teaching. In my first year I taught five 9th grade English classes; two honors, one average, and two collaborative classes with a special education teacher. I also went from sponsor to assistant coach to head coach of my high school’s rugby team, with little to none of that decision being mine (though I thoroughly enjoyed it). I am apologizing in advance for the length of this entry. Without further ado, I present the list of 8 (that I could think of) things you WILL experience your first year teaching:

1. You WILL develop a dependency on coffee, soda, or some other form of caffeine: Even if you are teaching elementary and get to sleep in all the way until 8:30, days start early for a teacher. The high school I teach at starts first period at 7:20 am, but teachers are expected to be out in the hallway at 7:10. My arrival time typically ranged from 6:30 (especially near the beginning of the year) to 6:50 (especially right before spring break) which does not work well with my natural tendency to stay up way too late. By about two months into the school year, I had several students who learned a method to figure out how awake I was: they would pick up my coffee cup and if it was more than half full they would walk away to return with their request later. If you don’t currently drink coffee, I recommend that you just dive in with black coffee. It will taste like crap at first, but that caffeine boost can do wonders for your attitude with the kids.
2. You WILL take on too much: Schools love first year teachers because of the natural pressure that is felt to make yourself needed. Older teachers and administrators will ask you to do things to help out that take little to no time or planning (fundraisers, chaperoning dances, etc)  and they will also ask you take on things that require significantly more work (coaching, club sponsorship, event planning, etc). Since it is your first year, you will say “yes” entirely too often and end up overly stressed. Remember this key word, especially when it comes to things you have no experience or interest in doing: the word is “No.” Add a thank you if you please.
3. You WILL mismanage your time: Everyone does this their first year of teaching. Since I am type B, my time management typically revolves heavily around procrastination with a solid dose of ADHD inspired distraction. This led to many situations in which I graded one hundred or more assignments in one night. The papers were by far the hardest to read, especially when every third paper is unrelated to anything resembling literature. If you are type A, expect to stay up on your grading and planning, but never leave the building before the janitors. Nothing says unnecessary like a five page lesson plan for a hour and a half long lesson. Neither one is better than the other, but you will hit your stride right around the time you come back from spring break.
4. You WILL use stupid tricks that you swore would never work…but they do: Candy, stickers, stamps on paper; for some reason many students love these things no matter their age. Rewards are good, but even little things like reminding them of your expectations and proximity work surprisingly well. I spent 90% of my classroom management class bored out of my brain while I doodled and waited for the hours to pass. I then found myself saying things surprisingly close (though with a slightly heavier dose of sarcasm) to those that regularly escaped the mouth of a teacher whose value was criminally underrated, Keith Koster. No, no 9th graders; we don’t draw gang signs on our tests.
5. You WILL mess something up…probably badly: Though I have possibly been quoted in the past stating that I sweat excellence, everyone makes mistakes. You will make many of these. You might misplace a paper, misspeak when assigning work, or just forget to remind students about a test. When I say that you will mess something up badly, I mean you will think it is the worst thing in the world. Even with my typically laid back and indifferent personality, there were times where I beat myself up. Just remember that there are more classes and that you can always find a way to make it work, but mistakes aren’t worth stressing over.
6. You WILL think that you should be doing something else: Especially as you near spring break, you will start to burn out. Indifference will rise, fatigue will hit an all time high, and you’ll strongly consider showing movies for the entire class period (don’t). This is the time to find support of your classmates…go get a beer and complain about all your frustrations. In fact, this is a good idea to do at least once every couple of weeks. Venting is key…just like with a nuclear reactor, the worst thing that can happen is a meltdown..trust me, I’ve seen it.
7. You WILL get frustrated with a student who you read completely wrong: This has more to do with the students than your ability to read people. These kids are basically walking bags of hormones; think Jekyll and Hyde with sagging pants and a cell phone. Not enough sleep, problems with a girlfriend, or embarrassment over seemingly trivial events can swing a 15 year old’s mood from excited to the single most aggressively downtrodden person you’ll run into in a month. They’ll love you, hate you, and hate that they love you. Have a short memory and remember that, at the end of the day, do you honestly care what a 15 year old kid thinks of you?
8. You WILL be annoyed by the way that people react when you tell them you teach: “What do you do for a living?” “I am a 9th grade English teacher.” “Oh I’m sorry.” This is a typical conversation. Get used to it. Also expect to hear “Wow, why would you do that?” and laughing as possible responses. People will also tell you there isn’t enough money for them to teach and that you don’t make enough money. And then expect advice about how to deal with kids and people telling you what the problem with education is nowadays. If they are not in education then it is very likely they are repeating opinions that other people near them have had. Your best reaction: smile and nod and change the subject while ignoring everything they say. I recommend going to a happy place in your head…Tahiti is nice this time of year.

The final thing that you will experience isn’t part of the list. You WILL finish your first year teaching. You got into teaching for a reason. Anytime students give you something (a drawing, sculpture, etc), hang on to it. Use them as reminders of why you are teaching: the big bucks that they pay you and overly expensive health benefits.

PS: I promise the other posts on here will be much more lighthearted, sarcastic, and making light of my ridiculous teaching experiences. If I added any more stories, this would be the longest thing I have written since my senior sem paper.